Not helping

Perhaps I need to butt out of Alene’s life at work. I might interfere with her effectively listening and communicating with others.

Sometimes she becomes emboldened with a confidence and conviction that alarms her once the moment has passed. When I look in on her life, I tend to forget that I am a white male with a lot of money — and the privilege, power and respect that goes along with my circumstances. But I react to what I see and hear as myself — not as Alene — and I inadvertently influence her reactions.

As she listens to people, she finds herself also processing my thoughts. She can’t help it. She often acknowledges to people that she “thinks more like a man than a woman.” And because I am independently wealthy, never having to worry about how I’m going to pay the rent, I never have to fear speaking my mind. So she ends up speaking her/my mind when perhaps she should just keep her mouth shut and nod in agreement — and then later bitterly regrets having said anything.

On the way home today, she stopped for coffee as usual. She read a few career-themed articles on Facebook and LinkedIn — and everything she read just added to the doubts that have been mounting all day since her meeting this morning. She is a lousy listener. She is too eager to express her opinion. She passes judgement on others too readily and most unfairly. She has a big ego. She lacks compassion and empathy. She talks too much. She doesn’t value the views of others. By the time she left the coffee shop to walk home, she was ready to take a vow of silence and never engage with anyone again!


I’ll try to cheer her up when she goes to bed:)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s