Clueless in Seattle

No dumb blonde jokes here! And anyway, to paraphrase Dolly Parton, “I’m not dumb — and I’m not blonde either!”

This afternoon, I enjoyed watching a young blonde board the bus Alene was on. She was not dumb — not by any measure — but she had the kind of breezy confidence that is unique to young blondes wearing sundresses. I don’t believe for an instant there is any correlation between hair color and intelligence — but it does seem that blondes can more easily get through life being stupid — because there’s always some man who’s more than happy to try to help them out. But every now and then you come across a genuine specimen of dumb blonde.

About ten years ago, Alene had a retail job in downtown Seattle — at a store that was very popular with summer tourists. One afternoon, a pair of blondes were shopping in the store. After they paid, they asked for some help finding their rental car.

Alene asked where they had parked. They didn’t know. Alene asked if there were any notable landmarks near where they had parked. They hadn’t noticed anything.

Had they walked far from where they’d parked? They couldn’t tell — they’d been shopping the whole time.

Had they been in any of the shopping centers? Pacific Place? Westlake Center? Rainier Square? No idea.

Had they been by the Market? What’s the Market?

Had they been anywhere near the waterfront? There’s a waterfront here?

A bit of an audience had gathered by now, and Alene asked one more question: what color is the car? The girls looked at each other helplessly — sighed — and then left the store — leaving behind several customers and store employees gasping with disbelief.

What’s even scarier is the thought of them actually finding the car — and driving it somewhere!!


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